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Bryon
Tuesday, November 10, 2009
Thursday, November 5, 2009
Monday, October 26, 2009
ACHERON
The "semi-sequel" to THE DESERT is being tentatively titled ACHERON. (Loyal readers will get the reference.) I'm currently writing both the novel and the screenplay, and am more than halfway complete with both.
Although it deals with similar themes, it only contains one character crossover from THE DESERT, and that happens at the end. I say "semi-sequel" in that the events of ACHERON are linked to something that happened in THE DESERT, but you will not have had to read it beforehand.
I have not begun to shop around either the book or screenplay, but interested parties can contact me at bryon@bryonmorrigan.com.
Although it deals with similar themes, it only contains one character crossover from THE DESERT, and that happens at the end. I say "semi-sequel" in that the events of ACHERON are linked to something that happened in THE DESERT, but you will not have had to read it beforehand.
I have not begun to shop around either the book or screenplay, but interested parties can contact me at bryon@bryonmorrigan.com.
Tuesday, October 20, 2009
Halloween Movies on Cable
Man....
I've been filling up the DVR with just about every frickin' horror movie that has been coming on Halloween Month, and almost every single one has been utterly worthless. Most of them, I just watch the first few minutes and then delete. I don't have time for shit horror. I mean, it's pretty friggin' simple to make a halfway decent horror film. You'd think it'd be easier to find them. Examples:
THE GOOD:
THE BREED (2006) - This is the only halfway decent one that I've come across yet that I hadn't seen before. People on island being attacked by genetically-modified dogs. It has some genuinely creepy locales, and the dogs have not been CGI'd or sped up or anything to make them scarier. They're just real dogs trying to kill you. A few lulzy moments, and they never really explain why the dogs are so damned smart or anything...but a fun, brainless horror movie.
THE BAD:
SHALLOW GROUND (2004) - No, a shitty actor covered in blood is not scary. The director seemed to think this kid was the fucking spookiest thing ever. I watched like, 15-20 minutes of pretty much nothing going on except this bloody teenager walking around, trying to look ominous. Did not work. STOP - DELETE.
INTERMEDIO (2005) - I should've stopped at "The Asylum Presents" but the synopsis sounded like a no-brainer. People in tunnels under Mexican border get attacked by monsters. At the first sign of the really bad CGI monsters, I was done. STOP - DELETE.
THE DUNWICH HORROR (2009) - A Lovecraft movie with Jeffery Combs? How could they go wrong, right? (No Brian Yuzna, for one thing...) As soon as Dean Stockwell started shooting bad SFX "lasers" from his fingertips, I said: STOP - DELETE.
BENEATH STILL WATERS (2005) - Speaking of Brian Yuzna, apparently he wasn't available for the above movie because he was making more shitty Spanish movies. The kids in the opening scene were horrible, and when it turned out to be another "Oooooh! He's scary 'cause he's a Debbil-Worshipper!" movie, I just couldn't help but: STOP - DELETE.
CATACOMBS (2007) - Rave party in the catacombs under Paris. Could be cool. Nope. Just another teen slasher film with nothing going for it. Even the catacombs in the movie are fake. Filmed in Romania. STOP - DELETE.
FURNACE (2006) - I only taped it because it had Danny Trejo in it. I realized about 20 minutes in that I was daydreaming about something else. I figured that was as good a reason as any to: STOP - DELETE.
UP NEXT!
WRONG TURN 2 - Sure, WRONG TURN wasn't CITIZEN KANE, but it has Henry Rollins in it, so I'll give it a spin.
HALLOWED GROUND - Looks like crap. It's the "Evil Preacher" meme instead of the "Evil Debbil Worshipper" meme, so it'll probably suck just as bad.
SAW III - SAW was okay...a new twist. SAW II sucked mightily, and I gave up the series at that point. We'll have to see just how bad SAW III is. I mean, it's FREE!
IN THE MOUTH OF MADNESS - Yeah, I've seen it before. Watched it in the theater. I wanna see how it holds up. Is it as good as I remember? Or will it be like watching LORD OF ILLUSIONS for the second time?
I've been filling up the DVR with just about every frickin' horror movie that has been coming on Halloween Month, and almost every single one has been utterly worthless. Most of them, I just watch the first few minutes and then delete. I don't have time for shit horror. I mean, it's pretty friggin' simple to make a halfway decent horror film. You'd think it'd be easier to find them. Examples:
THE GOOD:
THE BREED (2006) - This is the only halfway decent one that I've come across yet that I hadn't seen before. People on island being attacked by genetically-modified dogs. It has some genuinely creepy locales, and the dogs have not been CGI'd or sped up or anything to make them scarier. They're just real dogs trying to kill you. A few lulzy moments, and they never really explain why the dogs are so damned smart or anything...but a fun, brainless horror movie.
THE BAD:
SHALLOW GROUND (2004) - No, a shitty actor covered in blood is not scary. The director seemed to think this kid was the fucking spookiest thing ever. I watched like, 15-20 minutes of pretty much nothing going on except this bloody teenager walking around, trying to look ominous. Did not work. STOP - DELETE.
INTERMEDIO (2005) - I should've stopped at "The Asylum Presents" but the synopsis sounded like a no-brainer. People in tunnels under Mexican border get attacked by monsters. At the first sign of the really bad CGI monsters, I was done. STOP - DELETE.
THE DUNWICH HORROR (2009) - A Lovecraft movie with Jeffery Combs? How could they go wrong, right? (No Brian Yuzna, for one thing...) As soon as Dean Stockwell started shooting bad SFX "lasers" from his fingertips, I said: STOP - DELETE.
BENEATH STILL WATERS (2005) - Speaking of Brian Yuzna, apparently he wasn't available for the above movie because he was making more shitty Spanish movies. The kids in the opening scene were horrible, and when it turned out to be another "Oooooh! He's scary 'cause he's a Debbil-Worshipper!" movie, I just couldn't help but: STOP - DELETE.
CATACOMBS (2007) - Rave party in the catacombs under Paris. Could be cool. Nope. Just another teen slasher film with nothing going for it. Even the catacombs in the movie are fake. Filmed in Romania. STOP - DELETE.
FURNACE (2006) - I only taped it because it had Danny Trejo in it. I realized about 20 minutes in that I was daydreaming about something else. I figured that was as good a reason as any to: STOP - DELETE.
UP NEXT!
WRONG TURN 2 - Sure, WRONG TURN wasn't CITIZEN KANE, but it has Henry Rollins in it, so I'll give it a spin.
HALLOWED GROUND - Looks like crap. It's the "Evil Preacher" meme instead of the "Evil Debbil Worshipper" meme, so it'll probably suck just as bad.
SAW III - SAW was okay...a new twist. SAW II sucked mightily, and I gave up the series at that point. We'll have to see just how bad SAW III is. I mean, it's FREE!
IN THE MOUTH OF MADNESS - Yeah, I've seen it before. Watched it in the theater. I wanna see how it holds up. Is it as good as I remember? Or will it be like watching LORD OF ILLUSIONS for the second time?
Sunday, June 29, 2008
I HATE FLYING!!!
I'm not afraid of flying, but I sure do detest it.
I am trying to get to New York, via Newark, and am currently stranded in Charlotte, NC. I've been here since 1:30 PM. First, the airline (US AIRWAYS, who sucketh mightily!!!) cancelled my connecting flight, citing "too much air traffic."
So then, they sent me on a quest for the vaguely named "East Ticket Booth." Of course, when I've just gotten off of a plane, and am in a large airport with no visible exterior landmarks, I can tell exactly which direction is East.
Upon finally arriving at the long line to this "Eastern" ticket counter, which was actually closed off and marked "CLOSED," (I had to get someone from the airline to point to it and assure me it was the right place...) I was finally told that the earliest flight that I could get was departing at 5:15 PM. Of course, this meant that I would be missing the lecture starting at 7:00 PM that is part of WHY I'M GOING TO ACCURSED YANKEETOWN IN THE FIRST PLACE...but I had no choice but to take it. So they gave me a little piece of paper and told me to go get in ANOTHER long assed line at the Continental (ASSHATS!!!) booth.
So I finally get through the Continental line and get to the counter. The woman at the counter notices that I have a bag in my hand from Nathan's Famous. She asks, "Why is everyone coming up here with bags from Nathan's?"
I reply, "Because most of us had just gotten off the plane and bought lunch, when some idiots decided to cancel out flights. So now, I like many of my co-passengers, am holding my steadily cooling lunch, thanks to the incompetence of insolent fools who work for the airlines."
She replied, "Well, don't lump us all in together. It was canceled due to air traffic."
"Well, maybe you specifically aren't responsible for this stupidity, but it surely is not of my own doing. However, someone made the decision to screw up these flights."
So I got my ticket and had to go through the stupid TSA checkpoint again. Of course, this time, I was singled out, BY CONTINENTAL, for "special" screening. I was made to stand in a glass-walled room in the middle of the checkpoint, under guard, while they did a super-duper check of all my items. When the TSA told me that CONTINENTAL had requested my super-special security lockdown, I told them it was likely because I had told the woman that airline personnel were "insolent fools." The TSA person told me that it was automatic because I was on a flight that had been canceled. EITHER WAY, IT'S COMPLETE BULLSHITTERY!!!
So by the time I get through all the hoops and security, it's already 3:15 PM. Now my 5:15 flight has been delayed! LOVELY! I LOVE DELAYS! It's now almost 6:00 PM. I have no idea when, or if, I will ever get to Newark. I can't believe I paid for this stupidity!!!
A POX UPON BOTH YOUR HOUSES!!!!! (US Airways and Continental...)
I am trying to get to New York, via Newark, and am currently stranded in Charlotte, NC. I've been here since 1:30 PM. First, the airline (US AIRWAYS, who sucketh mightily!!!) cancelled my connecting flight, citing "too much air traffic."
So then, they sent me on a quest for the vaguely named "East Ticket Booth." Of course, when I've just gotten off of a plane, and am in a large airport with no visible exterior landmarks, I can tell exactly which direction is East.
Upon finally arriving at the long line to this "Eastern" ticket counter, which was actually closed off and marked "CLOSED," (I had to get someone from the airline to point to it and assure me it was the right place...) I was finally told that the earliest flight that I could get was departing at 5:15 PM. Of course, this meant that I would be missing the lecture starting at 7:00 PM that is part of WHY I'M GOING TO ACCURSED YANKEETOWN IN THE FIRST PLACE...but I had no choice but to take it. So they gave me a little piece of paper and told me to go get in ANOTHER long assed line at the Continental (ASSHATS!!!) booth.
So I finally get through the Continental line and get to the counter. The woman at the counter notices that I have a bag in my hand from Nathan's Famous. She asks, "Why is everyone coming up here with bags from Nathan's?"
I reply, "Because most of us had just gotten off the plane and bought lunch, when some idiots decided to cancel out flights. So now, I like many of my co-passengers, am holding my steadily cooling lunch, thanks to the incompetence of insolent fools who work for the airlines."
She replied, "Well, don't lump us all in together. It was canceled due to air traffic."
"Well, maybe you specifically aren't responsible for this stupidity, but it surely is not of my own doing. However, someone made the decision to screw up these flights."
So I got my ticket and had to go through the stupid TSA checkpoint again. Of course, this time, I was singled out, BY CONTINENTAL, for "special" screening. I was made to stand in a glass-walled room in the middle of the checkpoint, under guard, while they did a super-duper check of all my items. When the TSA told me that CONTINENTAL had requested my super-special security lockdown, I told them it was likely because I had told the woman that airline personnel were "insolent fools." The TSA person told me that it was automatic because I was on a flight that had been canceled. EITHER WAY, IT'S COMPLETE BULLSHITTERY!!!
So by the time I get through all the hoops and security, it's already 3:15 PM. Now my 5:15 flight has been delayed! LOVELY! I LOVE DELAYS! It's now almost 6:00 PM. I have no idea when, or if, I will ever get to Newark. I can't believe I paid for this stupidity!!!
A POX UPON BOTH YOUR HOUSES!!!!! (US Airways and Continental...)
Monday, May 5, 2008
Spring Cleaning
I'm quite obsessed with keeping things neat and orderly.
This blog has become quite untidy.
Therefore, it has been cleansed. I took off, nuked the website from orbit, as it was the only way to be sure.
I've been a bit quiet on this place for a while, but that has been due to the fact that I have some good news that is unfortunately TOP SECRET.
I can tell you this:
THE DESERT will be a movie.
I am writing the screenplay.
It's an actual Hollywood affair, with a director that has done movies with people like Harvey Keitel and Matthew McConaughey.
No, I can't tell you any more until I've been given the "all clear."
Currently Reading: The Wheel of Darkness, by Douglas Preston and Lincoln Child
Currently Listening to: The Adversary, by Ihsahn
This blog has become quite untidy.
Therefore, it has been cleansed. I took off, nuked the website from orbit, as it was the only way to be sure.
I've been a bit quiet on this place for a while, but that has been due to the fact that I have some good news that is unfortunately TOP SECRET.
I can tell you this:
THE DESERT will be a movie.
I am writing the screenplay.
It's an actual Hollywood affair, with a director that has done movies with people like Harvey Keitel and Matthew McConaughey.
No, I can't tell you any more until I've been given the "all clear."
Currently Reading: The Wheel of Darkness, by Douglas Preston and Lincoln Child
Currently Listening to: The Adversary, by Ihsahn
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