Sunday, June 29, 2008


I'm not afraid of flying, but I sure do detest it.

I am trying to get to New York, via Newark, and am currently stranded in Charlotte, NC. I've been here since 1:30 PM. First, the airline (US AIRWAYS, who sucketh mightily!!!) cancelled my connecting flight, citing "too much air traffic."

So then, they sent me on a quest for the vaguely named "East Ticket Booth." Of course, when I've just gotten off of a plane, and am in a large airport with no visible exterior landmarks, I can tell exactly which direction is East.

Upon finally arriving at the long line to this "Eastern" ticket counter, which was actually closed off and marked "CLOSED," (I had to get someone from the airline to point to it and assure me it was the right place...) I was finally told that the earliest flight that I could get was departing at 5:15 PM. Of course, this meant that I would be missing the lecture starting at 7:00 PM that is part of WHY I'M GOING TO ACCURSED YANKEETOWN IN THE FIRST PLACE...but I had no choice but to take it. So they gave me a little piece of paper and told me to go get in ANOTHER long assed line at the Continental (ASSHATS!!!) booth.

So I finally get through the Continental line and get to the counter. The woman at the counter notices that I have a bag in my hand from Nathan's Famous. She asks, "Why is everyone coming up here with bags from Nathan's?"

I reply, "Because most of us had just gotten off the plane and bought lunch, when some idiots decided to cancel out flights. So now, I like many of my co-passengers, am holding my steadily cooling lunch, thanks to the incompetence of insolent fools who work for the airlines."

She replied, "Well, don't lump us all in together. It was canceled due to air traffic."

"Well, maybe you specifically aren't responsible for this stupidity, but it surely is not of my own doing. However, someone made the decision to screw up these flights."

So I got my ticket and had to go through the stupid TSA checkpoint again. Of course, this time, I was singled out, BY CONTINENTAL, for "special" screening. I was made to stand in a glass-walled room in the middle of the checkpoint, under guard, while they did a super-duper check of all my items. When the TSA told me that CONTINENTAL had requested my super-special security lockdown, I told them it was likely because I had told the woman that airline personnel were "insolent fools." The TSA person told me that it was automatic because I was on a flight that had been canceled. EITHER WAY, IT'S COMPLETE BULLSHITTERY!!!

So by the time I get through all the hoops and security, it's already 3:15 PM. Now my 5:15 flight has been delayed! LOVELY! I LOVE DELAYS! It's now almost 6:00 PM. I have no idea when, or if, I will ever get to Newark. I can't believe I paid for this stupidity!!!

A POX UPON BOTH YOUR HOUSES!!!!! (US Airways and Continental...)

Monday, May 5, 2008

Spring Cleaning

I'm quite obsessed with keeping things neat and orderly.

This blog has become quite untidy.

Therefore, it has been cleansed. I took off, nuked the website from orbit, as it was the only way to be sure.

I've been a bit quiet on this place for a while, but that has been due to the fact that I have some good news that is unfortunately TOP SECRET.

I can tell you this:

THE DESERT will be a movie.
I am writing the screenplay.
It's an actual Hollywood affair, with a director that has done movies with people like Harvey Keitel and Matthew McConaughey.

No, I can't tell you any more until I've been given the "all clear."

Currently Reading: The Wheel of Darkness, by Douglas Preston and Lincoln Child
Currently Listening to: The Adversary, by Ihsahn